"For I recognize my shameful deeds.."

Everything needs a starting point.  I don't think I can discuss God's refurbishment of me until I share when the actual process began and where I had to be for it to begin.  I won't get into how I got to the place of being completely broken at this point, but I will say that my choices left me in a  position of loosing everything (family, business, respect, life itself).  I was broken and searching for a way out of my pit.  I had no where to look for help but up and when I did, God my Father was waiting.


The starting point of God's refurbishment of each of us that follow Him is repentance.   I love Solomon's prayer for the dedication of the temple found in 2nd Chronicles 7, verse 12 to the end of the chapter.  Solomon repeatedly requests restoration of the people to/with God.  The context for which he requests this is after the people have turned back to God, turned from their sins - or repented.  As believers,  we are God's temple.  In I Corinthians 3:16-17 and II Corinthians 6:16, Paul reminds us that we are God's temple and that through His spirit He indwells us.   The bible is consistent in declaring repentance, turning from our sins, as a necessary part of getting right with God (Luke 24:47, Acts 8:22, Acts 24:25, John 9: 31, Romans 2:4, I Peter 3: 12) and making His temple right for Him to inhabit.  Only by His inhabiting us can we be truly refurbished.


So what is true repentance?  I believe that David gives us a clear picture after committing adultery and having the woman's husband killed.  David had much to be sorry for.  However, herein lies the key.  David, a man after God's own heart,  moved beyond feeling sorry for what he had done and chose to agree with God that what he had done was sinful. When Nathan the prophet confronts David about what he has done, David response is as follows:

"Then David confessed to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the Lord'" 2 Samuel 12:13

In Psalms, David further explains his understanding of his sin:

"For I recognize my shameful deeds - they haunt me day and night.  Against you and you alone have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight."  Psalm 51:3-4 (NLT)


David obviously knew what he had done had hurt others around him.  I am sure he was sorry and felt remorse for how he had hurt them.  However true repentance is when we agree with God that what we have done was wrong in His eyes.  We move beyond the concern of what man thinks or considers wrong and worry only about what God thinks and considers sin.  David says in verse 4 above, "Against you and you alone have I sinned."  David had wronged man, but had sinned against God.  It is understanding that difference that allows us to begin the process of restoration.


How many times in my life have I been sorry for my sin but not really agreeing with God that what I had done was wrong in his eyes.  How many times had I justified things I had done even though I was sorry I had done them.  "I was lonely."  "I didn't hurt anyone."  "God wants me to be happy." and the list goes on.  I was even able to temporarily turn away from my sin after being sorry. However, because I didn't really agree with God my father, I would mentally consider or think on those things that would pull me away from Him.  Once I understood true repentance, what David understood, God was able to begin his work of refurbishing me, of changing the way I thought by giving me a new mind.


Lets continually determine to "Agree with God" and allow His true refurbishment of our lives to begin.

The God of Refurbishment.

It seems I have spent my entire life learning to refurbish or repair things. As child on a small farm, I learned at a young age that everything can be salvaged. Anything can either be fixed or used to repair something else. I was trained by necessity to take things that many would discard and find ways to return them to a useful condition. Even at my first job out of college, my function was to find ways to salvage and refurbish aircraft parts. I continued to be shaped to believe anything could be salvaged or refurbished. Through all of this experience seeing things restored, it is amazing that I found it hard to believe that I could be salvaged when I was broken. When I had made a mess out of my life, how could I ever be repaired or refurbished?


It is amazing that I missed God's story of refurbishing people thoughout His love story of the Bible. If God could create me from the start, then why couldn't He repair or refurbish me. Through God's patience and the patience of those He put around me, I was able to understand that not only could I be refurbished, but I could be reinstalled into His body for His purpose. I pray that this will be a site of understanding and encouragement for those who are in the process of being refurbished and reinstalled into the body, His body.